It always amazes me how life interjects between my postings. And how I always end up rereading what I've written will the sole desire of deleting every post. Maybe we'll just call that growing up, lol.
So, for the updates ...
The buick crapped out on me - stupid money pit.
My body crapped out on me, as the foot I had surgery on needs to be looked at desperately.
But I am getting organized (the vain of my existence), I love love being single, and I moved and love it, too!
Taking the good with the bad and moving on. :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
blue beauty.
i've yet to come up with a name for the buick. recently, i've evicted a family of mice from her trunk and just had an ignition coil replaced, which i had no idea even existed. hmm.... what to call her...?
well, whatever i decide, doesn't change the fact that's she running smoothly now. from thinking she'd become a heap of parts, to, instead, my current chariot of fire. so, it looks like i'll be road-tripping with the blue beauty this summah.
well, whatever i decide, doesn't change the fact that's she running smoothly now. from thinking she'd become a heap of parts, to, instead, my current chariot of fire. so, it looks like i'll be road-tripping with the blue beauty this summah.
one. two. punch.
my ongoing battle with my bodily "cushion" and "natural insulation" has yet to cease fire. lately i've not been helping my cause either. maybe i'll sweep it under the rug called 'vacation' and move on. which is what i need to and plan to do. back on it hard core and hope by july (end of, maybe?) that i've reached my ultimate weight goal. and then can train for this marathon, that i've got in my mind i'm going to run this october.
a friend posted this quote and i snatched it. seems relevant.
“... Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” Mary Tyler Moore.
well then, i might just be the bravest person i know, lol.
a friend posted this quote and i snatched it. seems relevant.
“... Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” Mary Tyler Moore.
well then, i might just be the bravest person i know, lol.
wild west adventures
my time in the lone star state was relaxing and adventurous; just what the doctor ordered. i'm already planning shenanigans for next year, and hoping to extend it longer than 5 days, as well. i'm excited already!
my top five (in no particular order):
1- an interesting snake encounter during a great river exploration
2- listening to a real auctioner talk super fast, and the behind the scenes cattle auction scene
3- time to think, and wide open, beautiful spaces to spend it in
4- getting lost and finding treasures
5- hunting tangerines and skunks, well and learning how to shoot, thanks to Chief
my next post may just be about all the things i hope to include in next years adventures there.
my top five (in no particular order):
1- an interesting snake encounter during a great river exploration
2- listening to a real auctioner talk super fast, and the behind the scenes cattle auction scene
3- time to think, and wide open, beautiful spaces to spend it in
4- getting lost and finding treasures
5- hunting tangerines and skunks, well and learning how to shoot, thanks to Chief
my next post may just be about all the things i hope to include in next years adventures there.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
behind on running .... but my crack vitamins are now replenished so i'll be back up to almost two miles here shortly.
house/farm sitting for mom, and then the restoration of my computer (which in turn causes me to completely reorganize itunes), has put me a bit behind. i'm wondering if i'm cut out for this grown up stuff. :)
house/farm sitting for mom, and then the restoration of my computer (which in turn causes me to completely reorganize itunes), has put me a bit behind. i'm wondering if i'm cut out for this grown up stuff. :)
etc.
happy birthday uncle sam!
ok, well that's not entirely accurate, but hey - i work for an accountant and at 5pm today, my life will start to ease up.
i work my second job and then the rat race of packing and getting stuff together ensues before a fun-filled weekend can start.
however, i am most excited about two things:
1. my trip to texas is right around the corner
2. on tuesday i should finialize a small loan, which will allow me to buy equipment for a small esthetics home business, as well as help me to continue to build credit. (i've decided my next will be going to a mac!)
two great things!
and at some point i'll get around to ordering prints and finding a company to purchase plastic sleeve covers from, to start my photo card business.
with a never ending to-do list, i'll get to the above at some point; hopefully sooner than later.
and then my next big tackle will hopefully be a stock purchase... fun times!
will post pics from farm stay, farm visit and the upcoming weekend soon.
ok, well that's not entirely accurate, but hey - i work for an accountant and at 5pm today, my life will start to ease up.
i work my second job and then the rat race of packing and getting stuff together ensues before a fun-filled weekend can start.
however, i am most excited about two things:
1. my trip to texas is right around the corner
2. on tuesday i should finialize a small loan, which will allow me to buy equipment for a small esthetics home business, as well as help me to continue to build credit. (i've decided my next will be going to a mac!)
two great things!
and at some point i'll get around to ordering prints and finding a company to purchase plastic sleeve covers from, to start my photo card business.
with a never ending to-do list, i'll get to the above at some point; hopefully sooner than later.
and then my next big tackle will hopefully be a stock purchase... fun times!
will post pics from farm stay, farm visit and the upcoming weekend soon.
Monday, April 5, 2010
too much to process.
so much going through my head now .... and i'm wondering if everything i ever knew was false, because someone is lying, and actually, it wouldn't surprise me if both sides are, and i'm so confused. my life isn't just a soap opera now, it's like an Anita Shreve novel. In 'The Pilot's Wife' a wife discovers, after her husband's unexpected death, that he has a complete other family in England; a whole other life, hidden. i knew and could handle all the dysfunction before, but this is a bit much, even for me. maybe i should have rented Sherlock Holmes a while ago, like i had wanted... but instead will be praying for wisdom.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Amendment
I found out, either at the funeral or viewing; can’t remember which, that my biological father passed away from a brain aneurysm, not a massive heart attack.
My confession thus far, this that I did enjoy learning some about him through everyone’s stories. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought, or maybe he changed. I’m unsure, however, I look forward to growing my relationship with my two siblings more and in doing so, learning more about him.
My confession thus far, this that I did enjoy learning some about him through everyone’s stories. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought, or maybe he changed. I’m unsure, however, I look forward to growing my relationship with my two siblings more and in doing so, learning more about him.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Death has come a knockin'
I had hoped to update on some great progress of mine. Were it be the fact that I'm completely organized, or that I've increased my mileage in preparation for the marathon in October, but instead the most recent update unfortunately deals with a death ... and I have no claim to the other such accomplishments, yet.
My biological father passed away on Tuesday am, of a massive heart attack, at 50 years of age. So young! I didn't grow up with him, so I never really did develop an emotional attachment, but my heart is breaking for those close to him; his wife, Heidi, son, Wyatt, and daughter, Madi.
{Obit.}
.
My biological father passed away on Tuesday am, of a massive heart attack, at 50 years of age. So young! I didn't grow up with him, so I never really did develop an emotional attachment, but my heart is breaking for those close to him; his wife, Heidi, son, Wyatt, and daughter, Madi.
{Obit.}
.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Spring Perspective and Cleaning
Ahh! I smell fabric softener and a faint breeze of spring and I feel refreshingly renewed.
I'm still trying to take over my life. Funny sentence, isn't it? Becoming organized and happy, and a whole bunch of other tasty adjectives.
Part of that includes developing a bunch of film I have sitting around. I've decided to put a couple photo cards together for work (one of my jobs) to sell. I'm hoping this might lead to something. And more specifically, that something would hopefully be a new camera. $1700 from photo cards is a lot to ask, but any contribution to that fund is more than welcome.
As I'm getting my feet of the ground on that front, I'm also packing. Packing! :) I'm not moving yet, but knowing what I have, what I don't need, and where everything is, is ... I just can't explain how happy that makes me. It's all been in a disarray for 10+ years, and now I'm taking that burden away. The burden of old memories, trash and nonsense, of material objects unwanted and unneeded. Currently I've taken every thing off my wall, and packed it. I let the cat (he's coming to the end of his time :( ) sleep in my bed and he managed to use the bathroom on my sheets, so along with washing them and my bed, I'm washing all my linens and packing them up, too. Then I can move my hope chest that holds them into my storage unit and keep going. This is the most satisfied I've felt as an adult, lol. Busy day, and then I'll tackle more this weekend when I have time since I'll have Sunday off.
Bring on the April showers and May flowers! :)
I'm still trying to take over my life. Funny sentence, isn't it? Becoming organized and happy, and a whole bunch of other tasty adjectives.
Part of that includes developing a bunch of film I have sitting around. I've decided to put a couple photo cards together for work (one of my jobs) to sell. I'm hoping this might lead to something. And more specifically, that something would hopefully be a new camera. $1700 from photo cards is a lot to ask, but any contribution to that fund is more than welcome.
As I'm getting my feet of the ground on that front, I'm also packing. Packing! :) I'm not moving yet, but knowing what I have, what I don't need, and where everything is, is ... I just can't explain how happy that makes me. It's all been in a disarray for 10+ years, and now I'm taking that burden away. The burden of old memories, trash and nonsense, of material objects unwanted and unneeded. Currently I've taken every thing off my wall, and packed it. I let the cat (he's coming to the end of his time :( ) sleep in my bed and he managed to use the bathroom on my sheets, so along with washing them and my bed, I'm washing all my linens and packing them up, too. Then I can move my hope chest that holds them into my storage unit and keep going. This is the most satisfied I've felt as an adult, lol. Busy day, and then I'll tackle more this weekend when I have time since I'll have Sunday off.
Bring on the April showers and May flowers! :)
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Ima Hopeful Foolish Girl
Even though I am happy to be where I am. I'm happy I've been enlightened to much in the last few weeks. I'm also happy that I feel a constant inner growth through all of life's challenges. I'm sad that this change is only felt by me, and typically only shared with God. How is it, that one person can learn so much and still respond the same way over and over again. Sorta breaks my heart. And I lied about not having regrets, though I didn't realize it at the time. It's because I suck big time at I Corinthians 13:4-13 ; I'm a negative for it all. Paul lists all of what it means to love, and I've not shown a bit of it. Just more reason why I'm so thankful for God's love, His patience when I stumble over and again, His willingness to stand by my side, and repeat the same words over and over again, knowing that I'll always come around, because that's what I do. And I always come around, usually after it's long overdue, due to my need for putting up a grand fight, because he encourages me to, and leads me to. One day ... I will find that love is a great honor and my greatest desire, and not an obligation or done for my own needs. And one day ... I will find someone who will still put up with me every time I forget this, because I will. Someone who will demonstrate "Let go, and let God" while I fight it, and push it away, because it's Truth I need, and will wait by my side for the long time it takes for me to get this. He will put up with much, because I am neither a piece of cake nor an angel, but my undying love and dedication will not be contained within me by any dam known to heaven and earth (especially once I understand the amount and strength of his endurance, patience and love). I just wish all these examples of men handling strong-willed women, weren't in fiction books and movies; not some woman's daydream, but instead a real tangible human being. I can pray, and my hope is oh so very strong.
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson
(I really recommend Sara Groves new CD!)
Love
- Sara Groves
love I made it mine
I made it small I made it blind
I followed hard only to find
it wasn't love
it wasn't love
love of songs and pen
oh love of movie endings
takes out the break
leaves out the bend
misses love
love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be
love's reality
is not a passing bravery
it holds out hope beyond what's seen
the hope of love
love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be
Fireflies and Songs
- Sara Groves
thirty years ago I was a little girl
riding in the back seat of the car
a woman sang you don't bring me flowers anymore
I felt a sadness in my little heart
we're looking for the music
in the music box
tearing it to pieces
trying to find a song
I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain
we fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away
piled on expectations and lots of blame
like we couldn't do it any other way
we're looking for a firefly
moving through the night
staring at the one place
swear it never lights
were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks
with faces and hands easy to read
we both wished if only in the land of oz
longed for things we'd never really need
now we're standing in the kitchen
all pretense is gone
you kiss me on the shoulder
fireflies and song
It's Me
- Sara Groves
weather came and caught us off our guard
we were just laughing and feelin' alright
had such a great time just last night
we walked into a minefield undetected
you took a tone and I took offense
anger replacing all common sense
oh run for you life
all tenderness is gone
in the blink of an eye
all good will has withdrawn
and we mark out our paces and
stare out from our faces
but baby you and I are gone gone gone
incomprehensible layers of isolation
now your the man with a heart of stone
making me pay here by being alone
seemingly justified righteous indignation
now I'm the woman who holds all her pain
looking for somebody else to blame
we hold all the keys to our undoing
cutting me down in small degrees
you know my worst insecurities
I'm making no effort to understand
no one can hurt you like I can
deep down inside the girl's waking up
she's calling out to the boy she loves
it's me
oh baby it's me
how in the world can tenderness be gone
in the blink of an eye
the girl in me she's callin out
oh the girl in me she's callin out
to the boy in you
to the boy in you
baby come back
baby come back to me
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all."
- Emily Dickinson
(I really recommend Sara Groves new CD!)
Love
- Sara Groves
love I made it mine
I made it small I made it blind
I followed hard only to find
it wasn't love
it wasn't love
love of songs and pen
oh love of movie endings
takes out the break
leaves out the bend
misses love
love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be
love's reality
is not a passing bravery
it holds out hope beyond what's seen
the hope of love
love not of you
love not of me
come hold us up
come set us free
not as we know it
but as it can be
Fireflies and Songs
- Sara Groves
thirty years ago I was a little girl
riding in the back seat of the car
a woman sang you don't bring me flowers anymore
I felt a sadness in my little heart
we're looking for the music
in the music box
tearing it to pieces
trying to find a song
I was drawn to you in ways I can't explain
we fought like crazy but I couldn't stay away
piled on expectations and lots of blame
like we couldn't do it any other way
we're looking for a firefly
moving through the night
staring at the one place
swear it never lights
were you surprised our hearts were not like ticking clocks
with faces and hands easy to read
we both wished if only in the land of oz
longed for things we'd never really need
now we're standing in the kitchen
all pretense is gone
you kiss me on the shoulder
fireflies and song
It's Me
- Sara Groves
weather came and caught us off our guard
we were just laughing and feelin' alright
had such a great time just last night
we walked into a minefield undetected
you took a tone and I took offense
anger replacing all common sense
oh run for you life
all tenderness is gone
in the blink of an eye
all good will has withdrawn
and we mark out our paces and
stare out from our faces
but baby you and I are gone gone gone
incomprehensible layers of isolation
now your the man with a heart of stone
making me pay here by being alone
seemingly justified righteous indignation
now I'm the woman who holds all her pain
looking for somebody else to blame
we hold all the keys to our undoing
cutting me down in small degrees
you know my worst insecurities
I'm making no effort to understand
no one can hurt you like I can
deep down inside the girl's waking up
she's calling out to the boy she loves
it's me
oh baby it's me
how in the world can tenderness be gone
in the blink of an eye
the girl in me she's callin out
oh the girl in me she's callin out
to the boy in you
to the boy in you
baby come back
baby come back to me
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Fresh Start
So today, or actually yesterday, has been a day full of new beginnings, as well as answers.
I met with an adviser at school, and nursing school is only 5 classes away. I cannot wait!! :) Sooo happy! And it looks like I shouldn't have a problem getting in, however I do have one speed bump to go over before applying ... But God is good! And this is where He wants me. I cannot complain.
More answers today as well, but all-in-all, I have no regrets. The beauty of a FRESH start.
I met with an adviser at school, and nursing school is only 5 classes away. I cannot wait!! :) Sooo happy! And it looks like I shouldn't have a problem getting in, however I do have one speed bump to go over before applying ... But God is good! And this is where He wants me. I cannot complain.
More answers today as well, but all-in-all, I have no regrets. The beauty of a FRESH start.
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